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Fatwa CenterHer Husband Does not Have Intimacy with her
Question
Asalamualacum. My husband doesn’t spend any time with me he spends hours the whole night talking with family on the phone and watching tv. I know he needs space but he hasn’t had intimacy with me for nearly a year. When I try to sit with him he ignores me, he is not affectionate. He only talks if he tells me to do something to do with chores or kids. He gets angry if I try to talk to solve issues. Nothing is changing. I’m so lonely. I appreciate his good but I am suffering with depression.
Answer
All perfect praise be to Allah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allah, and that Muhammad, sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam, is His slave and Messenger.
We advise you to seek help from Allah and to frequently supplicate to Him, for He is the Near Being and the Responsive. Similarly, fill your time with beneficial activities such as seeking knowledge, reciting the Quran, and reading books about the lives of the righteous. These actions may bring benefit to you and help alleviate the feelings of depression you are experiencing, by Allah’s will.
We also encourage you to make sincere efforts to communicate and find mutual understanding with your husband regarding daily life matters and any issues that arise between you, doing so calmly and without provoking anger.
If by "he hasn’t had intimacy" you mean sexual intercourse, you can kindly request him to perform this act with you. You can also explain to him that, according to the preponderant opinion of the scholars, it is an obligation on a husband to have marital relations with his wife according to her need and his ability. Shaykh Al-Islam Ibn Taymiyyah 
stated in Al-Fatawa al-Kubra: “It is obligatory on a man to have intercourse with his wife in a lawful manner. This is among her most emphasized rights, greater even than providing food. Some scholars said that the obligatory intercourse is required at least once every four months, while others said it should be based on the wife’s need and the husband’s capacity, just as he provides her food based on her need and his ability. This second view is more accurate, and Allah knows best.” [End of quote]
Lastly, if he refuses and withholds your rights in a way that causes you harm, you have the right to bring the matter to an Islamic court or a local Islamic center in order to obtain your rights and remove the harm caused by your husband’s negligence.
Allah knows best.
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